This student was admitted to UC Berkeley. However, I know that I want to do something unique. I select my first prey arbitrarily, and as I raise my hand up to eye level, I closely examine this chosen one. They left like birds; laughing one minute and in a better place the next. This is a college essay that worked for Duke University. The theme for relay for life is a hope for a cure. Using equipment that a high school student could only dream of using, I was able to map apoptosis (programmed cell death) versus necrosis (cell death due to damage) in HeLa cells, a cervical cancer line, after treating them with curcumin-bound nanoparticles. In the slow, grave silence that ensued, I reflected on how this desperate patient’s very life rests in the hands of a man who has dedicated his entire life to making such difficult decisions as these. Using Microsoft Word, follow these steps: Highlight a paragraph then right-click on it. I found that the same idea of change through simple solutions also rang true during my recent summer internship at Dr. Martin Warner’s lab at UCLA. I know I am being idealistic and young, and that my philosophy on life is comparable to a calculus limit; I will never reach it. However, a simple tale helped me deal with these deaths and take action. With these ideas, you are able to elaborate the purpose of your essay in a discrete, yet effective, manner. I now understand surgeons to be much more complex practitioners of medicine, and I am certain that this is the field for me. Now, a pancreatic cancer patient does not need to be the “guinea-pig” for a prototype drug to have a shot at survival: a doctor can choose the best treatment by examining the patient individually instead of relying on population-wide trends. This completely different perspective broadened my understanding of the surgical field and changed my initial perception of who and what a surgeon was. It’s important to keep your introduction brief, yet interesting. Feeling the tug of nausea in my stomach, I forced my gaze from the terrifying wound onto the hopeful face of the ailing woman, seeking to objectively analyze the situation as Dr. Q was struggling to do himself. There are three parts of a standard essay, namely: the introduction, the body, and the conclusion. I spent well over an hour a day preparing for the event, and it was all worth it! Get Grammarly It's Free. I briefly ponder the traditional routes, such as taking a job or spending most of the summer at the beach. A small, elderly woman sat in a wheelchair, dressed in a hospital gown and draped in blankets from the neck down with only her gauze-wrapped right leg peering out from under the green material. Working towards those changes to solve real life problems is what excites me. Later, I was able to image cells in 4D through con-focal microscopy. You can also learn more about our 1-on-1 college admissions support here. I chuckle to myself about the added bonus of good weather, but I know I have come to Palo Alto, California, with a much higher purpose in mind. I will spend six weeks here in my glory, not only studying and learning, but actually pursuing new knowledge to add to the repertoire of mankind. The Quote: While quoting famous people who have said something cool in the past may seem like an appealing way to start your essay, remember that colleges want to hear YOUR thoughts. As I learned about their unique lifestyles, I also shared with them the diverse perspectives I have gained from my travel abroad and my Chinese cultural heritage. I was never fully aware of how closely humans rely upon each other until I read The Fall of Freddy the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia in freshman year. Read other essays. We joked and played football while volunteering. Conclusion. I wanted to immerse myself in my passion for biology and dip into the infinitely rich possibilities of my mind. College Essay Examples: How to Write Your Story Experts say a good college essay is one that features a student's voice and personality. This past summer, I had the privilege of participating in the University of Notre Dame’s Research Experience for Undergraduates (REU) program . On the first day of class, our teacher set a box on the table and poured water into the top, and nothing came out. We don’t know what life is or why we are in this world; all we know, all we feel, is that we must protect it anyway we can. We study information to regurgitate it on a test and forget it the following day. I exultantly thrust open my locker door, exposing its deepest bowels candidly to the wide halls of the high school. It should have the ability to motivate your readers to continue reading your essay. It may just take a little while to discover what those things are. The best appropriate volume for your college essay introduction is about five sentences. Introduction. I will not waste time for my life is already in flux. We've collected many examples of college essays published by colleges and offered a breakdown of how several of them are put together. I want to live my life daily. You need to conclude or make a call to action to properly end your essay. Updated on September 4, 2018 Students. Every day is an apology to my humanity; because I am not perfect, I get to try again and again to "get it right." … The most important moment occurred during the night’s luminaria ceremony, during which cancer patients of the past and present were commemorated. Six months later, I step off the airplane to find myself surrounded by palm trees, with a view of the open-air airport. These past two years of shadowing doctors in the operating room have been important for me in solidifying my commitment to pursue medicine, but this situation proved that time in the operating room alone did not quite provide a complete, accurate perspective of a surgeon’s occupation. Instantly, my mind transports me back a few summers before, when I tapped my own heels to traditional music in Spain. I marveled at the compassion in Dr. Q’s promise that this aggressive approach would save the woman’s life. There are several ways to start an essay, so this would solely depend on the concept you have in mind. Suddenly, everything fell into place for me. Whether it’s a complex genetic disease or a tropical fever, I’ve found that taking small steps often is the best approach. As branch president, I organize events from small stands at public gatherings to 60-person dinner fundraisers in order to raise both money and awareness. Yes, you may highlight key points that have been mentioned in your essay but you need to refrain from repeating what has already been stated. In particular, it is one sentence that covers the main point of the writing. By default, life is difficult because we must strive to earn happiness and success. Real-time suggestions, wherever you write. I attended the SPK Program, a five-week enrichment program with New Jersey’s best and brightest students. After sticking up my magnets on the locker door, I ran my fingers across the bottom of the bag, and I realized that one remained. I have experienced study abroad in Spain, visited my father’s hometown in China five times, and traveled to many other places such as Paris. I have found that the search for the holy grail of a “cure for cancer” is problematic as nobody knows exactly what it is or where to look—but we can still move forward without it. As I went through the crowd, their faces illuminated by candlelight, their cheeks were wet with cleansing tears, I realize the impact I had on them, the purpose I was fulfilling; but most importantly, I realized the impact they had had on me. After reading it, I was enlightened on the cycle of life and realized the tremendous impact my actions had on others. This school year, the REU program has offered me a year-long job, and despite my obligations as a high school senior preparing for college, I couldn’t give up this offer, and so during this school year, I will be able to further both my research and interest in nanotechnology. Its purpose is to tell the person who will read the essay a clear idea of the text below. As a student of the University of California, I will contribute my understanding of the human condition and student motivation to help strengthen student relationships within the campus and throughout the community. Karen Hertzberg. While pursuing research in California, I was also able to meet many similarly motivated, interesting people from across the United States and abroad.